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It looks like my laptop may be traded up. It's been a long run, but my parents need a laptop for around the house.

I'll be writing most of my script hard copy, pencil and paper, ultimate vintage style. While the first act needs some definite work, I have to keep moving forward and keep those revisions in mind. I just need to make my protagonist stronger, which seems to be a constant problem with me.

In other news, I went to a wedding last night for a friend... and Christ, the groom was 22, the bride maybe 21. I'm too young to have a midlife crisis. Except whatever. It was fun to see some old friends and celebrate.

due dates

Nov 27: Design project (painting, value scales, animation), Study for Shakespeare, work on script, work on Shakespeare papers

Nov 28: Shakespeare exam, Rehearsal with actors for play direction, work on script, work on Shakespeare papers

Nov 29: Design assignment, Tech rehearsal from 6-11 pm, work on Shakespeare papers, work on script

Nov 30: First act due, first Shakespeare paper due, work on remaining Shakespeare paper and project over the weekend. Play goes up 7pm.

Unconditionally

The answer to my problem... has been with me since I was four. Have I known it's a story that I wanted to tell, maybe not, but it's an unconditional love that I've had for most of my life.

Music, more specifically scores. They can make or break a movie, tv show, video game, or even commercials.

When I was four, I fell in love with film and music at the same time when my parents showed me E.T. John Williams is the King so it's a good thing I started with him. I've always payed attention to the scores, and even though I can never write music, I'll always love it unconditionally.

I've been following composers and seeing where they come from and how the end up being where they are today. It's fascinating to me, and it's something that everyday people don't necessarily pay attention to.

Hollow

So I’m worried that my advisor thinks I have no heart.   

This is something that, in any other class other than screenwriting, I wouldn’t have a problem with. In my basic design class, my professor remarks on everybody’s “personality” showing through their pieces except mine. I’m fine with that, I know I have a personality, and since design isn’t my passion, I don’t have to paint my heart and soul on the canvas, that’s not what I’m about. 

But when my senior project screenwriting advisor is voicing the same concern… that’s a problem.  

I’m not afraid to admit that I don’t like over-sharing. I’m not the person in an English class who writes about emotional or physical abuse in our first assignment that we read aloud to class. I don’t like over-familiarity with strangers or people that I know I won’t be seeing next term.   Today my professor told me to write something I want to, which is what I thought my latest treatment was… something I wanted to do. I love the characters so much… of course, I love the two supporting characters the most.   

I’m scared because if this is what I THOUGHT I wanted to write… what’s wrong with me? What do I really want to say? Or am I too hollow to even grasp my own wants anymore?  

So it’s back to the drawing board, I guess. 

PROGRESS!

A breakthrough happened Saturday of epic proportions. And by that, I mean, at this moment I think I'm on a roll and am in the clear. I'm sure that when Friday rolls around I'll be back to being insecure and second guessing myself.

But that can wait! Because I've got something that's actually worth watching at the moment!

As soon as I can post more I will!

Commitment Issues

Apparently I have commitment issues when it comes to my characters. I really love them, but they can't exist without wants... and I think I have them that way because it's almost like wanting all possible doors open for your loved ones.

But characters need to be detailed... so I'm fixing that. And wa-ha, it's hard to give two shits about fairy godmothers. How do you make people who can be pretty powerful with magic sympathetic and human?

Then there's a problem with the world of it... do I want it to be completely out of our reality? Monsters Inc did it... but that was old Pixar and old Pixar are pros. Or George Lucas's Star Wars (IV-VI).

Or should this be semi-based in our reality? Something along the lines of a more classical Disney, like Cinderella or A Princess and the Frog where the protagonists are human and everything that happens takes place in a recognizable world we can find on Earth, but with supernatural/magical elements.

It seems that no matter what I do... I bite off what people think is too much than I can possibly chew. But I'm not backing down. I've had this bouncing around in my brain for a while now. It's going to take some work... but I'm going to do this. And I really, REALLY want to have this be a comedy. If anything, that is my through-line, that this make people laugh.

If anyone has any suggestions... I'd love to hear them. This weekend I'll be building a world. If it took George Lucas years, I'll do it in a week.

Comedy = Tragedy + Time?

If so, I'm set. But if not...

Comedy mystifies me. I had write three poems for Creative Writing, and I used that to help flesh out both my comedy and tragedy ideas. I have to be honest, I'm more comfortable making people UNcomfortable or surprised with brutality than I am trying to be funny. 

Right now I'm leaning toward doing the comedy idea only because comedy scares me the most, and at least it will be best to see if I should pursue it at school rather than in the real world. Well, that and I know the characters better than the horror. 

The problem is... it deals a drunk fairy godmother as the main character. But you need a human anchor or else it's hard to be invested. And since I'm not on Pixar's level of amazing, I need to have a human supporting character to even out the inhuman/human dynamic. As more characters come into the picture... I get worried that there are too many. I just don't want to get lost. 

My goal is to finish my treatment for BBBullshit by tomorrow. 

Comedy vs Horror

And no, I'm not combining the two.

The problem with me is that I don't... love one genre. I happen to love a lot of genres, as loon as the story keeps me invested. And I'm not a novice to horror, I've been reading Stephen King since I was thirteen and I keep myself up to date with the horror video games that seem to be coming out more and more. Being afraid is a strange high for me, that adrenalin rush, it reminds me that I can still feel fear. I'm always hungry for something new and scary.

But I also love to laugh.

Whether it's because of nerves or, you know, I actually find something funny, laughing is fun. People who say they don't like to laugh or either lying or empty inside. The problem is, I might be able to make SOME people laugh when I'm with them in person, but on paper... I'm not as confident. It's one of the main reasons I've stayed away from comedy... because I'm more comfortable having a girl cave a priest's face in with a baseball bat than having a drunk fairy Godmother make quippy comebacks.

The thing is... comedy will always keep me coming back. I'm leaning toward the comedy idea, but we'll see which one is strongest. I've written up my character bios for B. B. B. (the comedy) and it's a good, solid, four pages. A lot longer than the horror one, but the horror idea is a lot newer than BBB.

Right now I'm going to do the horror characters and sketch out possible avenues for new plot points.

And because I'm torn between horror and comedy, I had a dream that Slenderman and I had fabulous adventures in the Adventureland universe. He wasn't scary, he was just a chill dude.

I need some sleep.

Pitching Woes

Fucking bubbles man. A bubbly personality may be charming on a date but when you're pitching a horror script it is a hinderance. Damn it.

Oh well, it's over, I did it, now to the script. I'm going with the instructor's advice, making the girl a hard core rocker, that way, down the line when she's partially responsible for an innocent kid turning into a monster, there's a lot of guilt and self-loathing going on. Which is much more interesting than "Wah, I don't party."

The adjustments in my treatment won't be that tough, and it's always easier to write a protagonist that's strong.

It's good to be back.

The Finale

The final draft is underway. It's strange looking at how much Sadomasochism: A Love Story has progressed from the first draft, hell, even as an idea. It's not a comedy, there are comedic moments, but not enough to have it be a comedy.

Establishing tone without having the main couple beating the shit out of each other in the first scene is... hard. My third draft is pretentious as crap, buh, and of course I thought it was edgy at the time. Looking back at it now just makes me cringe. The ending is a little weak, so I'll have to beef it up without going over the top-- aka having everyone fight at prom is a little hard to believe.

It's been fun. I know for sure that I am NOT doing a romance, not for the next script I write. Just because I want to try something new. But I'll always have a special place in my heart for my favorite masochist and sadist, Chuck and Nancy. Those crazy kids... you gotta love 'em.

This is me, tipping my hat, and I've got a smile on my face.

All in all, I'm feeling good.

The Problem with Drama

I don't think that my strong suit, as a writer, is being funny. Which kind of sucks because everyone loves to laugh. 

So I tried my hand a drama. Hahaha, apparently I'm a bit melodramatic. Typical woman! Zing! 

In all seriousness, drama's a tough cookie to sink your teeth into. I think it's scary to try and make it too real because "real is boring" or so we're told. But if it's too over the top... then people laugh for all the wrong reasons. That, and it's a downer to write. 

But! I'm done with the second draft! The notes just came in! Back to work! 

Should be asleep...

so this is going to be a quick post.

Avengers was awesome. I saw it with Dave and Steph-- it was a fun movie. Not the best movie ever, but a lot of fun, and I'd see it again just for the Hulk. The Hulk was my favorite part (for me, the best part) of the entire film.

Co-op is good. I managed to get a second draft done, which I'm very proud of. Cut over three quarters of stuff from the first draft because it was rubbish. I think it flows a lot better now. But we'll see. Now it's for the third draft... scary!

Journey into Mordor... or the second draft

It's very odd approaching a second draft. It's kind of like approaching a wild, possibly rabid animal. You don't want to make any sudden movements or else it might attack you-- but it also needs to get the fuck out of your  yard.

AKA... I'm tacking this second draft. It's bizarre, going back and just sighing and cutting and cutting away and replacing it with something new.

Man, I wish I was funny haha. It would make this script sooo much better.

It's Easter?

Apparently so.

I've been writing like crazy for the past two days because my parents landed yesterday. I'm on page 80, and prom is in progress. Kaufhold, if you're reading this, I am so sorry for the melodramatic shit-storm you'll be reading soon. I wrote this scene, and it was like one of Darren Aronofsky's meth commercials without the meth.

Buh. I don't know why anyone thinks I can be funny/write comedy. Comedy is fucking hard. It's way easier to make something dramatic/borderline realistic than make it funny.

SUMMARY: First world writer problems. I'll stop whining now. It's not really that bad, I'm just frustrated  :)

First day on the job...

and I'm making a blog post.

I've successfully moved into a house, Steph and I are sharing a room but it's pretty awesome. The metro is just a mile away, and it's a really easy walk. I listened to The Artist's score on the way to the subway. It was gorgeous.

Writing is tough. I had to figure out a different midpoint, and there are a lot of things to kind of keep in the back of my mind for the rewrite when the first draft is finished. Since there's a bit of down time at SyFy at the moment, I'm working on my script. I don't know if it's funny that if I were to take sadomasochism out of it-- it would be a perfectly fine teen romance and it would be easy to get done.

What the hell, I've never done anything easily.

Winding down

Writing has been a little sparse, mostly because I'm moving out to LA for five-ish months in... two days. So ah! Stressful times. Wish me luck.

Midpoint Madness

It really is hard-- because a part of me wants it to be perfect, and then my reasonable half is all "... first drafts are shitty, just get through it, get it down, so you've got some bare bones to work with."

Bah. But it's coming along, nicely as... whatever the hell you'd call Sadomasochism: A Love Story.

Well, it's back to writing while watching Bruce Willis grumble through Live Free or Die Hard. Haha.

Deep Breath

I've started to panic, but then again I panic about everything. When it comes to making things bigger and better, I can't help but thinking of that "Big and Loud" some from that movie Cats Can't Dance. While it's an amusing song, it's not helping me with my weird dark romantic comedy.

Thankfully, I talked to a friend of mine and he kind of... talked me down/put things in a different perspective. Bigger and better isn't necessarily the answer-- (if it was an action movie, than I would totally be all about bigger and better). Maybe just... adding a twist to keep it fresh...

Writing is... going. It's fun, it's stressful, but hey, I love it.

Drag Queens and Studying

Should I be ashamed of watching RuPaul? Maybe. But hell, it's so much fun.

Anyway, Art History is kicking my ass so I'm buckling down for the next two days and studying. But writing has been a lot of fun-- the scene I originally wrote as the opener is now being kicked back to at least page 30. Yeah. That's how intense it is. Haha. It always makes me giggle when I can make an older writer do a double-take at what he's reading. I think it was because that last idea I pitched to him was about fairy godmothers. Oh well, variety is the spice of life.

Well, the writing continues. At the moment, however, I'm flickering through art slides-- while kicking around ideas to keep Sadomasochism: A Love Story getting bigger and better.

Sunday Afternoon Mission

Today I will whip up a better beat sheet. That's a fact. And, for a bonus, I'll start the opening sequence.

Cheerleaders in leather

So it's tough getting attached to a story idea and then having to change it... but big whoop it's a part of the process. When you get too close to something it's hard to see what's wrong-- and yeah, learning to step back... buh.

Anyway, there are a few paths on the table and I've got a limited about of time to make them. I don't want to keep it strictly as it is-- since... well, that's like taking advice and throwing it away, and that's not what this is about. The S&M aspect-- while it's not an add-on, it's not the focus... so...

So either we make it the focus and ramp up the ridiculousness-- or I can marathon a few John Hughes movies. While the ridiculous would be amazingly fun (refer to the title of this post) I'm not sure how long I would be able to sustain that. I mean-- after a while wouldn't people just get tired, being all "I get it, the whole town is hiding S&M dungeons in their basement, can we move on?"

Or we can... get rid of the S&M and... make it... a high school romance. Which is what this film is, at its core. I realize it's not bad to... be able to see similarities between this idea and others. It's a little irksome but meh, it happens. And it means that you're on the right track to something commercial. Ish. Also, the first draft of the beat sheet had zero potential to sell . I mean, I knew this from the get-go... but still. It was fun.

Then there's the option of switching the protagonist-- an problem I've had so many times. That... could work if I kept in the S&M with the high school setting... or it couldn't. So many choices.

I'll take a breather on it, not look too closely, and just see what floats to the surface in the next few days.

I've been drowning myself in weird horror. Take a look, but make sure you're alone/not in a work/school environment when you click on this...

To prove that I'm not needed--

I'm making a post. Haha I'm in a class where a writer was needed... and it's what... week four, and I haven't done anything. Awesome. I'm working on Screenwriting Workshop stuff now, at least I can get something done.

What I really like about the beat sheet is that it's something that I'll use later to keep me from getting stuck-- so the more little things I put in, the more I'll have to work with later. Man, if I'd told myself that I'd be writing a romantic comedy (that's what it is, at its core, I don't care how dark it is) I would have... laughed. Or lashed out. But it's fun and twisted, and writing two people beating the shit out of each other for sexual release is... fun, actually. You wouldn't think it, but it's a lot of fun. People should try it! (Writing about it... but if you want a more hands-on approach, feel free).

Well, that's me. I'll be updating. Whoop whoop.

Mad Men

It's not like I need another show to watch, but Caleigh decided to ruin my life and let me watch Mad Men on her Netflix account. So here I am-- Chrome window playing Mad Men and a Word Doc for my beat sheet staring me in the face. And now a window for this blog update. So many windows.

The beat sheet is a whore and a half. But I'm so going to finish it.

Music keeps my heart beating

I remember a professor asking if the screenwriters used music and I think I was the most adamant about needing it to write. It's a part of the process-- music is just another way of telling a story. All kinds-- I mean, from Lady Gaga to John Williams-- there are so many great tracks out there just waiting to be used as one way to make a note about a scene.

Okay so I might be listening to Michael Giacchino. Judge me. 

So here is this blog. It's a pretty new blog. Actually, some would argue that it is brand new. Or all of them... would argue that.

There we go. I broke a champagne bottle-- this blog is officially starting.